A womans weapon is her voice. Men like the emotionally unavailable father that you describe have failed to really grow up, so its no wonder he reminds you of a child. This ultimately impacts how you navigate love and connect with others throughout life. We respect all Whadjuk Elders both past and present, and any First Nations people. Learn how your comment data is processed. Now that Im a little further down the road, empathy and understanding is a big part of what I offer my clients. If it was up to me, I would much rather have a traditional mother and father, rather than a disrespectful mother, both to her husband and to her children, and a father who doesnt know how to be the man at home. It means a lot to me. Jesus was not a passive man by any means. He, on the other hand, was relatively passive yet and was often driven to explode with frustration due to his inability to express his emotions or to handle my mothers frequent put-downs. I dont know what else to do at this point. But did you know that narcissism is a spectrum, and you might be in it. He got no emotional attachments to me. Although narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a rare mental health condition, growing up with a parent who behaves in narcissistic ways is more common than you might think. Dominant women and passive men may present role models to their offspring which cause the pattern to be repeated. Wow Im quite blown away by what youve said Helen. Jesus tells us that not one jot or tittle of the old testament is not valid. The goal of a narcissists behavior is to keep their target victims engaged and in line. I am a woman who married the son of a critical + emotionally neglectful mother/passive father duo, whose husband is suffering from the consequences. I believe that the devouring mother and weak father are one symptom of that root problem, but there are other symptoms as well, such as high rates of divorce, pornography, single-mothers, narcissism, and more. The old testament is one agreement between man and God, while the new testament is a different agreement with Him. Im curious if you have sought help for dealing with your anxiety and for being truly assertive with him? Even when they made a mistake or treated you in an unfair, or unjust way, they never apologized for their mistake. When a passive man learns to step up and assert himself, the woman starts to see that he is in fact able to protect her. If he can stand up to her, perhaps he can stand up to other people too. This post may contain affiliate links. It doesnt reflect what I consider to be a healthy adult/adult relationship of peer equals that I recommend men work towards establishing with their mothers where possible. Doing so feels like it would end in their - psychological - destruction. If you find any of the information here useful in your life, thats great; but you retain full responsibility for any possible consequences of any action you might take resulting from the information on this site. You might develop people-pleasing tendencies from constantly striving to meet the needs of your mother with narcissistic traits as a child. As a child, you were expected to parent your parent, or behave as a surrogate parent to cater to their needs, instead of them catering to yours. But there is a very good reason why youve come to this article. Feminism has taught women that acting like men will make them happy, while completely ignoring the fact that most men still lead lives of quiet desperation. I think controlling women most ALWAYS come across like this. Your idea of the man not providing protection to the woman assumes the woman, no matter the woman, needs this as her primary need, and this isnt true. 19 Signs You Were Raised By a Narcissistic Mother or Father - LonerWolf How unfair. Ive noticed a strong pattern in the lives of a lot of guys who Ive been talking to lately who have had issues with self-confidence, especially around women: the combination of a dominant, controlling mother and a passive father. My own Christian upbringing taught me some seriously counterproductive beliefs and behaviours that undermined my self-confidence and which Im still working on changing. Im her only son and Im onto her by now, though shes still coming on strong, resorting to gaslighting and calumny to tarnish my reputation. I crave for healthy family dynamics. Controlling mothers tend to attract passive fathers. In Genesis, God puts the woman under the authority of the man. If your mother blamed you for problems as a child, you might naturally feel like everything is your fault as an adult, too. So long as you are accepting any type of resource from them, you are giving them leverage over you that can continue the unhealthy relationship as long as the gifts or services are proffered and accepted. But learning how your mothers behaviors affected you as a child and now as an adult can lead you toward finding relief. But faced with a constantly nagging wife, even a masculine man with kids is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Not control, or rather discipline, and let her son grow wild?? When youre an adult, but a narcissistic parent continues to treat you the way they treated you as a child, it can have the effect of making you feel as if you were still that child. You can do this by seeking traditional psychotherapy that focuses on, Learn to take care of your own needs through the practice of. The simplest way Ive found to manage an affiliate program is to use ClickBank as your payment processor; they do all the work for you, and have a neat marketplace where you can advertise your product to get affiliates. In your experience is there anyway I can truly change inside? Its the disastrous duo for a boys confidence growing into a man. Many individuals whom others label as narcissistic do not intentionally act hurtfully. If you have found any comfort, support or guidance in our work, please consider donating: document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); I'd like to receive your latest weekly newsletter! My mom had been supremely controlling type. They make me feel bad for not talking to them as much. However since this all happens unconsciously, they will rarely admit their frightening vulnerability. These days she occasionally asks me (jokes) to get a girlfriend and i cant even reply back to her and just go away from her as i dont know how to ask her to be serious about some things.